Let’s face it, commitments are scary, and unfortunately, in the modern world we are living in, the fear of commitment is becoming more and more prevalent in relationships. There are definitely many misinterpretations about the issue, but today I wanted to concentrate on the ways you can deal with your partner’s fear of commitment.
Below are some things you should keep in mind when you think your partner has a fear of commitment.
1. Keep Things in Perspective
Your partner’s reluctance to be in a long-term relationship or get married does not necessarily mean he is afraid to commit to you or that he does not want to be with you. Don’t go into panic mode. He may just not want a long-term commitment right now. Maybe he wants to focus on his career first or has other things on his agenda he wants to accomplish before getting married. If you panic you may make things worse instead of better. Instead, have an honest discussion and ask your partner what he wants out of the relationship with you.
2. Stop Trying to Make Sense of It
If your partner does in fact have a fear of commitment, don’t stress yourself out trying to make sense of it. There is no use. The thing you will accomplish by doing this is to drive yourself into an endless cycle of never ending theories. Don’t try to analyze your partner’s phobia. It is what it is.
3. Give Your Partner Space
After you have an honest discussion about what your partner’s expectations are from the relationship, give your partner some space. Don’t try to push him. Most importantly, don’t keep asking questions about where your relationship is going, and if his plans have changed. Give him space to take it all in and consider your needs. Give him time and set yourself a reasonable timeframe of when you will bring up the issue again.
4. Know Your Worth
This goes for any relationship. Know your worth as a person and within the relationship. The most important lesson of being with someone who is afraid of commitment is knowing when it is time to walk away regardless of how painful it is. Compromising your wants has its limits. In a healthy relationship both sides will compromise, but if you feel that you are compromising all your wants while your partner is not, then why stay in the relationship? As mentioned above, give yourself a timeline and see how things go. If nothing changes then maybe it is time to re-evaluate where you stand in the relationship as well.
Have you ever had a partner that was afraid to commit? I’d love to hear how you dealt with it!
Photography by: Laura Clarke Photography